Prioritizing Quality Time with Yourself

“Love yourself first, because that’s who you’ll be spending the rest of your life with”

~ unknown

We alllllll love quality time, right? Spending that time with our family and friends, laughing, resting, relaxing – whatever it is – it’s good when it is spent with someone we love or even just like a lot (LOL).

Quality time in its simplest form is “time spent in giving another person your undivided attention with the purpose of strengthening the relationship.”  Most people long for and prioritize quality time with the ones they love, spouses, children, parents, friends – who ever makes them happy.   

Research suggests that quality time between parents and their children is one of the most “treasured” rules of parenting.  Incidentally, some statistics even suggest that this time between parents and children is directly correlated to the child’s physical health and future success.  Among lovers, according to Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages, quality time centers specifically on togetherness and connecting with your whole heart and undivided attention.  It is a critical component in love relationships, as it is one of the five.  It is what solidifies the connection and strengthens the bond.

I would like to offer that the relationship that matters most in your life, is the relationship you have with yourself. When was the last time that you gave yourself undivided attention? That you sat down with your thoughts, feelings and emotions and paid attention to how you were really feeling? That you did exactly what you wanted to do – when you wanted to do it?

Strengthening your relationship with self is what will allow you to strengthen your relationships with others. I mean I get it, we live in the age of technology, many people have competing priorities and are juggling multiple things. But, if quality time between parents and their children is truly one of the most significant ways to strengthen the bond and impacts health and success, and couples prioritize quality time as a necessity for a good relationship – it only seems right that as you plan your quality time with others – you include yourself in the mix. 

There is no right or wrong way to do it. Many people would suggest that quality time with yourself is the same as self care.  While this may or may not be the case, one thing for sure, is that if you are not spending quality time with yourself you are not caring for yourself. 

So what are some ways to do that? 

Just plan it! Schedule time daily for your self-care moments but schedule weekly time (at least) for your quality time.  In the same way you plan time with others you should plan time with yourself. 

Do it your way! Whether that is taking a long hot bath, going to dinner, enjoying a movie, or dancing to your favorite song, it all hinges on the importance of doing what you want to do in the moment. 

No pressure!  Now keep in mind this does not have to be some deep exercise. The purpose is to enjoy what you are doing, pay attention to yourself and your thoughts, and just like any other relationship, listen to what’s going on inside of you. 

By spending quality time with yourself, you will start to be increasingly more in-tune with yourself.  You will learn what areas of your life need work and what areas of your life are your strengths, and you will start to hear things from your inner thoughts that you may not have been paying attention to lately. Quality time with yourself should be done with gratitude, and in love and care for who you are and for what you need. 

Now, I have one small caveat, quality time may include lounging around, it may include rest – BUT treat this as you would if you were planning an activity with your favorite person! Do something different, take a dance class, learn how to knit, do a vision board, do something that will bring you excitement, joy and allow you to get in touch with your inner happiness. Remember, the stronger you are, the stronger your relationships will be and the more powerful you will show up in the world.